Today, I had a Veteran come to my office and as always, I keep an ear tuned to God inquiring if they were sent on assignment or just passing through. I get the nudge, he was sent. As he is speaking, he asks if I might answer a question. It is about him and his not having friends or close family members. He shares a glimpse into his prior behaviors. This is the thought I gave him to marinate upon.
“People come into our lives to fill various roles. Oftentimes, it is we who confuse their position. We treat everyone as if they are all lumped into one category then when we feel they have missteped, we cut them off. Think of it this way. Life has layers. We come out the shower fully naked, we then add on underwear, and clothes to fit the occasion. A wedding gown is perfect for a bride on her special day but looks slightly ridiculous at a picnic. Swimming trunks are perfect for the pool but might cause a few stares in court. If we ask ourselves, which layer does this person fit, we would see that our interaction with Steven is best when wearing a three-piece suit, tie, cufflinks, and wingtip shoes; he is our all professional friend. Perhaps Michael is our sweat suit friend whom we can sit back and chill a bit. Maybe Onika has seen you coming in or out of the shower 😉
We oftentimes have expectations, needs if you will, that we immediately dump on people, expecting them to fulfill this invisible role. They’re clueless as to the fact that we are judging their every move. When they fall short (of something they have no knowledge of) we quickly cut them off. This is not their fault but ours. We have to look at our needs and ask, what is our responsibility to fulfill and what is theirs. Most importantly, what is God’s role in those voids.”
After a few moments of reflection, he said, “I have to apologize to some people. I never realized I had placed a burden on them to fulfill a void in my life they were never equipped to handle.
What about you?
Simply Florenza 